Sixth Grade Journal: Mr. Guido Talks. We Listen.

Do you remember your elementary school principal? I remember mine. His last name was Guido. I don't know what his first name was, so I just called him "Mister Guido." Fortunately I didn't have to call his name too often, because I stayed out of trouble for the most part, but when he called your name it would send a chill down the back of your neck. Because you knew when you turned your head your eyes would meet his scary eyes.

Yep. Mr. Guido had "crazy eyes," kind of like that runaway bride from a few years ago. So when his eyes talked to you, you listened. When he told you to stop playing baseball, you stopped... out of fear that he might murder you if you didn't.

04-20-86
In the morning I did my work then we went out and played baseball and my team lost. At lunch time we played baseball but Mr. Guido told us we couldn't play because he couldn't supervise us. After school we played the girls in softball and we won 14 to 5. We let them have 5 runs so they'd keep playin. Then I went over Dannys and we played around and did Reading. When I got home I ate Big Boys I had a salad and fish. Then I went home did Social Studies and went to sleep.

Sixth Grade Journal: Super Size Me 1986-Style

Before there was Morgan Spurlock and "Super Size Me," there was my Sixth Grade diet: thirty-one days of pizza, KFC, candy bars and Tuna Helper. Here's a day-by-day breakdown of what I ate in March 1986, according to my Sixth Grade Journal:

March 1 - Pizza, pop, chocolate cream pie
March 2 - hot dogs, french fries, roast beef and mashed potatoes
March 3 - chicken, rice and corn
March 4 - spaghetti and milk
March 5 - spaghetti and sandwich
March 6 - steak, mashed potatoes and green beans
March 7 - McDonald's
March 8 - Chi-Chi's burrito
March 9 - Turkey TV dinner
March 10 - Chicken soup and milk
March 11 - Kentucky Fried Chicken
March 12 - Little Caesar's pizza
March 13 - Sloppy Joes and Pepsi
March 14 - Steak and baked potato
March 15 - Kielbasa
March 16 - T.G.I. Friday's for lunch; Hardee's 1/4-pound burger, french fries and Coke for dinner
March 17 - Kentucky Fried Chicken
March 18 - Taco Bell
March 19 - Soup
March 20 - Steak and green beans
March 21 - Marshmallow bunnies
March 22 - Cake and ice cream
March 23 - McDonald's cheeseburger, french fries and a Coke
March 24 - Spaghetti and milk
March 25 - Hot dogs, beans and french fries
March 26 - pizza
March 27 - Candy and Kentucky Fried Chicken
March 28 - Salad and fish from Big Boy
March 29 - Candy bar
March 30 - Burger King
March 31 - Tuna Helper and cupcakes

Sixth Grade Journal: Chocolate Car Trouble

Some kids bring guns to school. Others bring chocolate cars. Both should be punished. I learned that lesson the hard way.

It's another episode from my Sixth Grade Journal:

2/21/86
In school we did our journal and other assignments and when we were done we played with chocolate cars and got in trouble so we had to write a page in Science. At lunch time I went to Wendys and ate chicken and a salad. After school I went to the Baseball clinic and got out at 4:45. When I got home I ate a snack and watched tv. I then watched tv then went to basketball practice. After practice I ate meatloaf, corn, and mashed potatoes. I then watched the Cosby show and Stevie Wonder was on it. After I watched tv, I played basketball. I then read a book, and I enjoyed it. My mom then said, It's time for bed, so I went to sleep.

Sixth Grade Journal: The Day Nine Children Went Missing

I was flipping through my Sixth Grade Journal today when I discovered that several of my classmates disappeared on Jan. 27, 1986. I don't remember this day. Maybe I blocked it out or maybe I just didn't care.

This was before Amber Alert, so maybe people just didn't do anything when children went missing. Maybe they just assumed the kids ran away, or were abducted by aliens or something.

Or maybe they just thought that there was no sense letting a bunch of missing kids get in the way of the education of kids who aren't missing. I certainly didn't. I kept on working on my book report and playing video games, just like any other day. What an insensitive little prick I was back then, but I guess that's how everyone was in the 80s.

01-27-86
Monday I got up got dressed ate cereal and went to school. When I got to school there were nine kids missing, so it was pretty quiet. After school I started on my report and then played coleco vision. When I finished I ate steak, mashed potatoes, and corn. After dinner I did my Social Studies watched the Music awards played Life then went to bed.

Sixth Grade Journal: Super Bowl Memories Or Why I Should Have Been a Writer for Sports Illustrated

After watching that crazy Super Bowl game last night, (SPOILER ALERT!!!) where the New York Giants shocked the New England Patriots 17 to 14, I was inspired to open my Sixth Grade Journal... to see if I had ever written anything about the big game in 1986 between the Chicago Bears (click here to see the '86 Bears) and, again, the New England Patriots (click here to see the '86 Pats).

What I found was that I totally missed my calling in life. My journal coverage of Super Bowl XX was on par with some of the greatest sports writers in America.

It was better than, like, the sports coverage you get in your newspaper. I didn't just talk about the game, I talked about what I did that day leading up to the game, building suspense up until the part where I reveal the outcome.

I could have been a writer for Sports Illustrated, but I just didn't recognize my talent back then... Now I know... Now I know... And now I want you to know about the brilliant voice the sports world never got to hear:

1-20-86
On Sunday morning I woke up watched tv then my friend came over and we played coleco vision. After we finished playing I had a basketball game and we lost the game by three points and I scored six points. After the game I watched Super Bowl over my friends house and the Bears creamed them. When I got home I did my homework then went to bed.

Sixth Grade Journal: Race and Politics From a Former Racist

I was going to write about how CNN and other media outlets seem to be manufacturing conflict and creating divisiveness by forcing this race-gender discussion on candidates, but after reading through my Sixth Grade Journal I realized I have no credibility when it comes to this topic.

Because, apparently, I used to be a racist.

OK. Maybe I'm being a little hard on myself. Maybe the proper term is "racially insensitive" or "ignorant." I didn't have any hate in me, I was just dumb enough to think that stereotypes were true.

I was born a white male and was raised as a white male in an all-white blue collar community. We had zero black students at my elementary school. Zero black students at my junior high school. And Chavez, who was the only black student at my high school. And as far as Asians or Hispanic/Latino kids or Samoans go, I'm not sure. My mind wasn't developed enough back then to notice yellows or beiges in skin color. People were either white or black... Actually, in my world, people were just white, unless they were on TV.

The only black people I knew by name were Isiah Thomas and Magic Johnson. Now, I don't think my young mind believed that black people were only good at sports and not capable of succeeding in other careers. I did meet a black doctor named Heathcliff Huxtable in 1984. I do, however, think that I believed that all black people were superior to whites in sports... and yes, especially at basketball. But based on the score of this game mentioned below, maybe you can't blame me? Here's the story from my Sixth Grade Journal:

02-23-86
On Sunday morning I watched Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde and it was good. After that I had a tournament game and we lost 80 to 10 against a colored team, and they had the advantage cause they were about 3 feet taller than us. After the game I had another game and we lost by five when I got home I was tired so I took a nap. I then woke up and ate dinner, we had spaghetti and meatballs and after I ate I did my homework then went to bed.

Sixth Grade Journal: Raised on Sloppy Joes

When looking back at my Sixth Grade Journal, I noticed quite a few entries about eating Sloppy Joes. Apparently it was a regular on the family dinner menu when I was a kid.

I haven't had a Sloppy Joe in years, but it's one of those tastes that you could never forget. The Manwich sandwich -- tangy, spicy, mantastic ... maybe that's not the word I'm looking for? ... It was good, I think. Or maybe it was one of those meals that was just good when you were a kid, but when you taste it now, it totally grosses you out, like Dinty Moore stew or Hamburger Helper or chicken gizzards. I apparently used to eat the chicken gizzards like they were french fries or potato chips when I was a kid. My grandma used to make them, but she never told me what a gizzard was. If only I had known.

09-18-85 I got up got dressed and went to school we had a pretest and that was about it. After school I went up to the school and played baseball. Then later we went to my house and played football. When my mom got home she made sloppy joes then we went to bed.

Sixth Grade Journal: No Jaywalking on My Watch

In sixth grade I was a member of the Polk Elementary School safety patrol, otherwise known as the Black Panthers (our school colors were black and gold and our mascot was a panther). I wore my badge with pride and honor, and I maintained a tight watch over my corner, at Eaton and Polk streets. Not many kids would step outside the law at my corner. They knew better, because I wouldn't hesitate to report someone for safety rulebook violations such as: running, skipping, smoking or drinking alcoholic beverages near my post, or the worst violation of all -- Jaywalking (I spell it with a capital "J." That's how serious I take it.) As this journal entry shows, I didn't lose any sleep after ratting this person out on this day:

9-13-85
I got up got dressed and got dressed and went to school. In the afternoon I went to my post and reported someone for Jaywalking. I got home from school and my friends came over and played football. When my mom got home we went to the shopping mall to eat and shop for school clothes. I got home watched a little tv, then went to sleep.

Sixth Grade Journal: Sporting the Kmart Look

In this enlightening Sept. 13, 1985 entry from my Sixth Grade Journal, we ultimately learn that my knack for finding affordable, yet fashionable clothing started at a young age. While some kids spent all of their parents money or all of their allowance on designer wear, I took the more sensible approach, selecting outfits like the one pictured, left, from Kmart. (That picture is not me, but this kid pretty much captures my hip attitude.)


9-13-85
I got up got dressed had some waffles for breakfast, then took off for school. In school we did some work then went outside and played football came back in and went outside for lunch and played football. When I got home I played some baseball, then went inside and played my electronic football game. When my mom got home and we went to Kmarts and bought some clothes when I got home I did my homework and went to bed.

Sixth Grade Journal: Escape From a Honda Spree

Not many people could outrun a Honda Spree... Actually, a lot of people could, and I did. If you've ever been chased by a person on a Spree while you were on foot, then you'll totally relate to this Sept. 12, 1985 entry in my Sixth Grade Journal:

9-12-85

I got home from school and went to the school to play some baseball. Then we went to my house and played hide and go seek. Then these kids were chasing us on Sprees.

Sixth Grade Journal: It Started on September 11

On Sept. 11, 1985, as part of a required daily assignment in Mrs. Gostomski's sixth grade class, I made my first entry into my journal (pictured, left). As you can see on the cover, I came up with the clever title, "My Journal: By ADAM B."

Apparently I went by the name ADAM B. in all caps back then. I must have been in a gang or something that required me to do this, or maybe I was ashamed of my last name for some reason, so I just used "B" instead of Burkett.

But after recently revisiting the content of this notebook, I clearly had nothing to be ashamed of. Here is the first of several sixth grade journal installments I'll be sharing with readers of The BH:

9-11-85
"I got home ate an afternoon snack, then went outside and kicked my football around. Later, I went to my friends house and messed around."