C.C. (Chelsea Clinton) Is, Like, So Mega Kewl!

OMG! Have you seen Chelsea Clinton (C.C.) lately? She is like the kewloost former president's/presidential candidate's daughter eva.

Her mom seemed, like, so lame to me, until C.C. hit the campaign trail and gave me the 411 on Hill Hill.

Now, I'm, like, OMG! Who am I going to vote for? I thought Barack was, like, way kewl, but after listening to C.C. talk at my community college, I'm freaking out. She, like, so understood me. And she said her mom would totally make sure that the sub shop in the student center would get back those awesomeness fudge brownies they used to sell. WTF?! Why did they get rid of them in the first place? It totally ruined my junior year.

I dropped my URL to C.C., so hopefully she's reading this right now!! If you are C.C., reading this, I just want to say again that the words you spit in the cafeteria that day changed me 4eva. I'll never 4get it. You were so chill, man. You're, like, the "our" in "our generation," and if I do get out of bed to vote next week, I'm totally either going to vote for your mom... or Ron Paul. Did you see that movie V for Vendetta? F'n awesome!

Sixth Grade Journal: Race and Politics From a Former Racist

I was going to write about how CNN and other media outlets seem to be manufacturing conflict and creating divisiveness by forcing this race-gender discussion on candidates, but after reading through my Sixth Grade Journal I realized I have no credibility when it comes to this topic.

Because, apparently, I used to be a racist.

OK. Maybe I'm being a little hard on myself. Maybe the proper term is "racially insensitive" or "ignorant." I didn't have any hate in me, I was just dumb enough to think that stereotypes were true.

I was born a white male and was raised as a white male in an all-white blue collar community. We had zero black students at my elementary school. Zero black students at my junior high school. And Chavez, who was the only black student at my high school. And as far as Asians or Hispanic/Latino kids or Samoans go, I'm not sure. My mind wasn't developed enough back then to notice yellows or beiges in skin color. People were either white or black... Actually, in my world, people were just white, unless they were on TV.

The only black people I knew by name were Isiah Thomas and Magic Johnson. Now, I don't think my young mind believed that black people were only good at sports and not capable of succeeding in other careers. I did meet a black doctor named Heathcliff Huxtable in 1984. I do, however, think that I believed that all black people were superior to whites in sports... and yes, especially at basketball. But based on the score of this game mentioned below, maybe you can't blame me? Here's the story from my Sixth Grade Journal:

02-23-86
On Sunday morning I watched Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde and it was good. After that I had a tournament game and we lost 80 to 10 against a colored team, and they had the advantage cause they were about 3 feet taller than us. After the game I had another game and we lost by five when I got home I was tired so I took a nap. I then woke up and ate dinner, we had spaghetti and meatballs and after I ate I did my homework then went to bed.