Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Mayor of Detroit Caught Hot Tubbing With a Turtle

Who is Carmen Slowski? A turtle? And is the mayor of Detroit, Kwame Kilpatrick, having an affair with this turtle?

That was my take on an article I read in the Detroit News today, where Kilpatrick is described by sources as being seen (Or heard? It doesn't really say.) sharing a hot tub and a glass of champagne with the slow-moving reptile. This comes just after the local papers released records of saucy text messages he exchanged with his chief of staff Christine Beatty, who is a human... although she does kind of look like a giraffe.

Below is the excerpt about the turtle sex from the newspaper, highlighted in a turtle-friendly text color:

Investigative reporter Steve Wilson of WXYZ-TV said his sources told him the woman at the hotel resort was definitely not the mayor's wife, Carlita.

According to Wilson's report, the woman identified herself as Carmen Slowski at the spa. The name "Slowski" is similar to the name of the Slowskys, husband and wife turtles featured in several Comcast Cable commercials promoting high-speed Internet.

So, yeah, my take from this is that the mayor is hooking up with a female, cable TV mogul turtle. Now, as to how serious the relationship is, I'm not sure. He might just be in it for the free high-speed Internet.

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